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(KINGSTON, MA, APRIL 1, 2002)
In other news, residents were shocked to learn of a petitioned
article for annual town meeting that would give the current Board of
Selectmen lifetime terms.
A second provision would convert all other elective offices in town
to appointed positions, thereby eliminating all town elections.
Residents who currently fill positions would no longer be elected
but would be appointed by selectmen.
Selectmen, while
disavowing authorship of the article, said it did contain "a
few provisions they could live with" but wanted to study the
matter further and "leave the choice up to voters." The
article came from a citizens group seeking to reduce the town’s $1
million deficit, which accelerated significantly following a recent
town meeting expenditure of $700,000 to purchase inaccessible land
for use as ballfields.
The proponents cited "significant" annual savings:
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Eliminating town
elections saves $5,000 annually; no salaries for election
workers to monitor and supervise elections that don’t take
place. |
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No further costs
for printing ballots, at a savings of $1,000. |
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Further reduced
printing costs savings of $895 annually, because fewer town
reports will be needed. Previously, the book was reprinted
to reflect changes in the names of office-holders. |
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No need for new
nameplates for elected and formerly elected officials, at a
savings of $425 annually. |
Calling the action
"bold, decisive leadership at a time when the town cries out
for it," one official projected this annual savings of $7,320
will eliminate Kingston’s million-dollar deficit by spring of
2158, a mere 156 years from now.
(Note: This is the first attempt
to revive an old Kingston newspaper tradition — the April Fool’s
story. Any resemblance to actual events is somewhere between totally
coincidental and mildly possible, depending on who you believe and
how far you read between the lines. In Kingston, which some refer to
as the "Political Twilight Zone," the line between the
real and the unlikely is often blurred. We include the story at this
time because this edition of the newspaper is the closest one to the
first of April’s date. Don’t worry. None of this could ever
really happen...right?)
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