Forward through the ages...
Mar 4, 2008 When I turned 66 two days after Christmas it was no big deal. Men can deal with things like getting older. I feel pretty good, I can lose those extra pounds whenever I want and with a few prescription drugs life is not so bad. The fact that I have a paunch doesn’t bother me, baldness doesn’t keep me awake at night, the wrinkles could be worse, the varicose veins don’t show and my blood work is usually pretty good. The gist of it all is that being old doesn’t bother me. Actually, there are benefits; if you forget a name, or are late for an appointment, you can blame it on old age. The Dunkin’ Donut senior discount is available seven days a week and people very often give up their seats in deference to your age.

Wii can only dream of the Glory Days that never were...
Jan 29, 2008 HIM: I have finally found something in the world of computer games that I can get a handle on. I’ve never gotten into this Play Station stuff because I’m afraid it would become addictive, and I’d get even less done then I already do. But alas, there is now something that both she and I can have fun with. I’m speaking of the latest phenomenon called Wii. It’s an interactive game that you can actually control. You can play baseball, shoot at birds, bowl, and a whole lot more. The thing is, you actually control your actions by holding a handle devise that gets attached to your wrist so you don’t throw the thing at the TV screen.

Him and Her: Wealth
Dec 20, 2007 HIM: Now that the kids are grown it is a great sense of pleasure when we get invited over to one of their houses for holiday dinners. Between Susannah in Plymouth and Steven here in Kingston, we haven’t had to prepare these five course meals for years. Nancy, forgetting how many years she slaved over a hot stove and oven, always feels that she should be making "a little something" to take along. The thing that I just don’t get, is the number of little ditties she whips up to prove "we’re not pikers." Her shopping list looks as long as when she fed everyone and then some. She prepares an elaborate dessert, a side dish…or two and insists on a bottle, or two, of wine. Me, I look at the whole thing differently. I love the idea of showing up at their house, plunging into appetizers and then plowing into the meal 30 minutes later. After a 10 minute recovery period, I’m usually the one who pokes around the dessert and is first to attack the pies, cake and puddings. When that’s taken care of, I retire to whatever room the TV is located, to watch football. At halftime I head back to the food and dessert for round two, concluding with a Tupperware container lavished with leftovers. That’s my idea of living. I can never understand why she always tells the kids, "I’m sorry for your father’s eating disorder, but you know how it is with him and food." I never could understand what that’s all about, I mean, we do our share with the stuff she whips up; it’s like a down payment for all the other food that I consume. I never mind buying all the stuff we end up bringing as our contribution because she makes so much that the kids send us back with most of it anyway.

When Real Power Meets the Perception of Power
Nov 27, 2007 Boy did I make a mistake the other day. I was heading out to work when she informed me that my Doberman had gotten into the trash and it was now littering the floor. Being in a hurry, I did what any red blooded male would do, I told her to "deal with it" and headed out the door. Well, I should have realized that that was the kiss of death. "Deal with it?" she whispered. "OK, I'll deal with it, but you will pay for that remark when you least expect it" she muttered under her breath.

Coffee - It’s the only legal drug from Colombia...
Oct 30, 2007 HIM: Coffee. I just don’t see the big deal about coffee. I see people lined up at different places around time waiting for that first hit of the morning. She is no different. Without that first cup in the morning she is a lost cause. She wakes up, squints her eyes and shuffles into her slippers. Her hair is askew, her steps halting, and the only word I can make out from her murmuring is, "coffee." In zombie-like motions she stumbles into the kitchen, puts a filter into the bin and pours in the water, I know she is reasonably conscious because she remembers to give the dogs water, flips open a can of cat food, pushes it into my hand and points outside where the cat now lives because of the two dogs. She has yet to speak but manages to sit on the living room couch where she just sits, hunkered down, until she hears no more activity from Mr. Coffee. With that, she rushes back to the kitchen, smells the effervescence of coffee, pours a cup and retreats back to the couch. She wraps her hands around the cup, retreats within herself, and gradually moves the cup closer to her mouth (which she manages to find on the third attempt). Blessed is the first sip of the brown liquid for it brings a great smile to her face. By the third sip her vocal cords are functioning again. "Go pour yourself a cup so I can go over the list of things you have to do for me today" she suggests, "and remember to clasp your hands around the cup so you can be cozy." Yes, the morning is truly underway.

Mulching Madness
Sep 28, 2007 HIM: Over the past several seasons she’s killed fewer plants then in the past. The idea of a big garden at the rear of our home is beginning to diminish as she turned her attention to the indoor planting of seeds. I’m not sure what we had growing throughout the summer but little green shoots were peeping up from those weird looking pots placed throughout every room. She could have owned stock in potting soil and Miracle Grow with the vast amounts she carted into the house. She even talked to them welcoming each new bud into a world that can only spell doom.

Calling a Truce in the War on Peace and Quiet
Aug 27, 2007 HIM: She’s up to something and I think it’s diabolical. I haven’t figured it out yet but I will. It’s not natural and it flies in the face of female thinking.
First off I should mention that we have two sons. For the past few years my oldest son David and I have made it a tradition to watch all Patriots games at his place in North Plymouth.

Once Again, He’s Blowing Hot Air
Jul 23, 2007 Boy can she be stubborn. You’d think the older she gets the more she’d mellow…not Nancy. As an example, there’s a guy in town named Harry Sprague, he’s got an ad on the back page of this paper advertising replacement vinyl windows. I thought the price was great and what with oil prices skyrocketing we could be more energy efficient...

The More Things Change...
Jun 25, 2007 HIM: Every night I empty out my pockets on the bureau. Included in the mass of items strewn about, is my change. Sometimes there’s quite a bit of it, dollars worth. I think she has some sort of built-in radarscope because no sooner have I dumped the change, then she comes walking in. She stops, examines the residue and declares, “Look what I found” as she, in one deft move, manages to snag the booty down to the last penny.

The Romance of the Office
May 21, 2007 Now I’m in trouble…she’s talking about joining me at the office. It’s not that I don’t openly embrace the idea, to me, the office is a place to call my own, a place where I can do as I please. I know where everything is, even if it doesn’t look that way. On those rare occasions when she pops in, she looks around, shakes her head and asks, "How do you manage to accomplice anything in this atmosphere?"

Him & Her: Like a grave digger begging for a shovel...
Apr 23, 2007 I have stated in the past that I do most of the shopping at our home. She creates the list, I faithfully carry out her wishes. These lists come to me in various formats; she'll ask me to stop by the house to pick it up, or it will be sent to my office by e-mail, or she will pick up the phone and dictate it.

HIM & HER: His Friends, her friends, and all the ones in between...
Mar 16, 2007 HIM: She talks too much and she has too many friends. Her friends come in every shape, size and age. They go from 23 (Maureen the firefighter) to 94 (Nettie the incredible). I have a lot of friends too, because I’m a lovable guy. Some of them only think they hate me.

Him & Her: Negotiating the fine print of the marriage contract…
Feb 23, 2007 HIM: One of the things we’ve both learned after 40 years of marriage is the art of negotiation. I’m not talking big transactions here, I’m talking about the small stuff that, unless guided by rules, can drive you crazy.

Racing toward 100 with a 6 year head start...
Jan 20, 2007 HIM: I can’t keep up with her eating habits. Maybe it’s an age thing, because Lord only knows, she getting on in years. The other day we were trying to figure out what we were going to have for dinner. I might add, that we go through this "What are we going to eat tonight" jousting contest every day. I suggested that we cook up a boneless pork roast in our Showtime Rotisserie, you know, "just set it and forget it." She announced that she doesn’t like pork anymore. I was stunned!

Always faithful... even to a fault
Dec 16, 2006 Nancy and I have been married for over 40 years. One might say that after such a long period of time we have a comfortable relationship, and we have no cause to be jealous. But I have to tell you that this TV minister from Texas, Joel Osteen, is really getting on my nerves. She is addicted to him and couldn’t miss a Sunday morning without him. Come Sunday at 8 a.m., don’t even try and have a conversation with her; she is glued to the tube taking in every word he says.