I found out something has been brewing at my brother’s house recently. My perky sister-in-law and apparently many of her friends are having an affair with the same man. Turns out my brother Steven is even in on the fun. Of course this comes as a surprise to me, and naturally I had to ask a few “urning” questions? Who is this mystery man, what makes him so special and why are so many women (and my brother) willing to share him?

Very passionately, she admitted he was a model. But not just any model. She said he is always hot for her and confided she hates most drips she’s come across. All Michelle ever wanted was a strong, dark and durable man; one that wouldn’t crack under pressure.

(I thought that perfectly described my brother Steve!) Michelle admitted to grinding with other models in the past but none could even compare with this powerhouse. Finally, she spilled the “beans” and gave me his name: Mr. Coffee Model FTX23. He’s black with a silver accent that you just can’t resist and best of all you can buy Mr. Coffee for only $50.00.

I come from a family of coffee connoisseurs. We hold our coffee to a particular standard and if that standard isn’t met for me, I’m…well…quite volatile to be around. I have a history with coffee that I think justifies my position. My first job making coffee was age eight when my mother realized I was old enough to make her coffee and give her an extra 30 minutes of sleep. My mom loves coffee. I remember we always had a pot brewing throughout the day and night. Each of us kids had a coffee making shift and my mom was in heaven. God I wish I could get my kids on that bandwagon! She probably needed it to keep up with the hectic pace of four kids who rarely napped. Mom started out with the stove top glass pot with the cylindrical plastic top that you slipped the filter in, added coffee and then poured boiling water over to steep. I realized very quickly to follow her coffee making instructions precisely and not to take shortcuts. One time I swapped the regular stuff for decaffeinated and after her first sip she declared it “panther piss” and had me start all over. So I learned…make coffee the way people like it. Eventually she moved on to the plug-in percolator model. My great grandmother had one too.

I hated those things. There were too many parts and contraptions, the grinds always made their way into the coffee and cleaning all the parts was a pain in the butt. Thankfully, she finally upgraded to a standard model and my coffee making days were a little easier.

At age 13, I decided to make coffee for cash and was a cashier at Dunkin Donuts in Kingston right across from Burger King. I had to squeeze into the old pink doughnut tree dress that was two sizes too small. Apparently the girl that quit was a size 4...uggh! Such is life. The tips were great and I could deal with the customers. I made their coffee precisely the way they liked it and had a keen memory for how they took their coffee. I still pass by people in town today and think to myself “Milk and 2 equals”.

Eventually I was recruited to work for a competitor of Dunkin Donuts...the Donut Chief. Now closed, I recall the owners Carl and his wife Marion were the kindest people to work for. Alas, I was moving up the coffee chain. It was also at age 13 that I started to drink coffee to see what all the fuss was about. I was immediately hooked. Coffee was so comforting on a cold day and iced coffee was so refreshing on a warm day. I liked it light and sweet. Customers loved coming to my line because I was the only teenager that could actually make a cup of coffee EXACTLY the way they asked for it. Think about it. Coffee is one of the first things someone puts in their body each day. If it is lousy, then it sets the person up for an equally lousy day. My feeling is that every breakfast or coffee joint should always invest in a good bean to avoid this problem.

The lousiest coffee I ever had locally was Jamie’s in Marshfield. It tasted like day old tea water. The Three Corners, which was formerly the Early Bird in Kingston wasn’t bad, their scrambled eggs were reeeeaaallly good and when I neglected to notice you can’t pay with a debit card and I had no cash, they let me send someone back later to pay my tab. That someone ended up being my dad and I still owe him ten bucks. Trust…that’s a nice thing and rare these days. That Three Corners!!

Even though I used to work for Dunkin Donuts, I hate to say it but I despise their coffee. I’d rather have no coffee than their coffee. It is weak tasting and it is never made right. Not to mention the price is outrageous. Even more outrageous is a cup of coffee at Starbucks, although I have to say they serve a darn good cup of joe. It is nice and strong. The type that makes your forehead sweat…now that’s coffee I like. I usually brew their Espresso Roast for my house, but if I (or you) want a real treat, try Illy Espresso Roast coffee available at Williams Sonoma in Hingham. I’d have to say that is my absolute favorite to brew at home and I love the metal can it comes in. Keeps the grinds so fresh! I’m still waiting to do a cooking demo there so I can use their Illy coffee to whip up my fabulous and easy Tiramisuzy.

So you wanna know my favorite place to get a buy a cup of java in town? Don’t laugh but the place for coffee is Cumby’s Café located right inside Cumberland Farms at the corner of Routes 27 and 106. Wow…what a selection. Not to mention, they have a carafe of this “hyper-caffeinated” blend that will send you to the moon and back. What makes their coffee even better is the multitude of flavors they have available and you can make it the way YOU like it. Here’s what I love even more about Cumby’s Café. They have these mocha latte machines with flavors like Pumpkin Spice, Toffee Nut, French Vanilla and yes…my favorite a “hyper-caffeinated” mocha latte. I feel like a Java Bean Queen when I walk in there each morning. Oh…and did I mention the XLarge is only $1.67!!!!! The price includes any of the coffees or lattes. I like filling my cup up halfway with the shock coffee and half with the shock mocha latté. I add two Equal and my day is perfecto!! And if that isn’t enough…they sell these super sized travel mugs for only $1.99 (Loooove it!!!!) and you get a free fill when you buy it, PLUS there is a coupon inside the mug for two more free refills. I adore this place. When will they throw in a new kitchen and a set of steak knives for me? Cumberland Farms is a standout in my book and is overlooked by a lot of consumers. Save yourself some money and head on over…just once…for me? Promise me something though…you’ll save some of my hyper-caffeinated blend so it doesn’t run out on me…my co-workers can’t bear me when that happens. Hint hint Cumby’s….get two carafes going.