P TREE LANE: Every town has its favorite lore. The kind of tales created by rugged men in the building of America. One such modern tale comes from the Phase II project of the Tall Timbers sub-division. Legend has it that the construction guys would reconnoiter at one specific large tree during the course of events in the field. As nature called, the tree served a more functional purpose; one enjoyed by both dog and man. The pee tree became a favored haunt for those seeking both privacy and the birth of an urban legend. Fast forward to today, and perhaps by some insider joke, the road will be known as P Tree Lane. Certainly a tradition that will doubtless be preserved by those who will plunk down almost $800,000 for the new address.

SEWER LOOSER: Remember over a year ago that Town Meeting voted to increase the fine for those who never hooked up to the sewer line from $50.00 to $100.00? The argument at the time was that for $600.00 a year it was cost effective to never hook up. The thought was that at double the fine, it would encourage the remaining scofflaws to do their duty. You know how many of those $100.00 a month fines has been collected? Try none. There hasn’t been a sewer fine in quite some. Word is that the Town’s MUNIS system doesn’t compute with the ability to levy a fine. There are additional thoughts that maybe the structure is unenforceable. That would be hard to believe. The Warrant Article had to pass muster with Town Counsel and it had to be approved by the Attorney General’s Office after it was voted at ATM. Our guess is that we can’t work it through the system. So now what?

AUDIT THIS: No wonder we have so little faith in our own checks and balances here in town. We have a group called an Audit Committee. It consists of three people. Mary Fiore is chair and Robert Ward is the only other member at this point. The third member was Ted Alexiades, who quit to run for Treasurer. It’s odd that there would be a perception of conflict that would require Ted to remove himself, but no such concern with Ms. Fiore serving as his campaign Treasurer. Audit Committee members are supposed to remain completely out of the political fray in order to remain neutral and impartial, so much for that hallowed thought. But let’s move on, we have better stuff...

JERRY-MANDER: We feel badly for Jerry Powell. For years he has been trying to amend the Town by-laws as they pertain to the Audit Committee with no success. First he files the article by petition, next the legality of the wording is challenged, it goes to counsel for review and the process goes on until about the eve of the meeting itself. By that time the political "bigwigs" poo-poo the article, write Jerry off as a doddering annoyance, chortle behind his back, insult him, place the article at the end of the warrant and lead the charge for a negative vote. One of these days, Powell will get it right. His heart is in the right place but he suffers from one major political flaw, he is honest and plays by the rules.

ED KING will appear before the Board of Selectmen on April 20 in order to clear up various problems in King’s Planning Board habits. In what promises to be a somewhat boring, heavily scripted event, King will crow and generally put on an ego show about how unfairly he has been treated of late. Because he believes the only discussion on the table is the condition of the Dan May account, and because, after three months of agony, they say they have it figured out, Ed is feeling chipper. But how do explain the time it took to get a straight answer, the fact that records are not where they belong, that checks are being held, that developers are paying town engineers direct, that only friends and neighbors ever saw a return of their accounts, all arranged by King. Sure, we now see that the Planning Board wants to hold public hearings in order to adopt practices that are matters of law. The old, "let’s move forward and not dwell on the past" approach is again at work. King’s already using that one up on Schofield Road. The only thing that might get testy is over King’s disdain for Mark Beaton. Beaton put King in his place at town hall last week during a man-to-man in the hallway. Ed is the kind of guy that will shred you behind your back, the basic coward approach. Mark is a to your face kind of guy, which explains why Ed may pound his own chest on April 20. Why not, Cravenho will have one last chance to help out his card playing buddy and fellow Schofield Road investor.

NO SHIP: There is still no ship on the cupola at Town Hall. We even got a call at Ringside from Champion Roofing saying it’s going up. But alas, the brig is still MIA.

VOTER TURNOUT: We are going to go out on a limb and say that at least 2,100 will go to the polls on April 24. That would represent a significant number, certainly up from the last several years. What makes this a banner year is that you have a great Selectmen’s race, not one, but two races for Sewer Commission with an interesting cadre of characters, a sleeper race for Treasurer that has more meaning then imagined, a Planning Board race which is a tossup, a lively write-in race for Regional School Committee, and even a race for Constable. Considering the fact that 16 candidates are vying for 7 seats, the numbers will be up. Add to the mix a school override question, stir in a pinch of anger, a sprig of frustration, and you should end up with at least 2,100 cast ballots.

SIGNING ON: Sewer Committee candidate has been deaf since birth. He communicates by reading lips and signing. He naturally tends to sign as he speaks. After the recent Kingston Business Association Candidate’s Night, three unrelated individuals approached Gifford and began a spirited discussion via the tool of signing. "We all felt as though a barrier had been lifted" said Gifford. Diversity, what a beautiful thing.

INSTALLMENT PLAN(S): Overheard at Town Hall. Ed King speaking with an L. Knife agent about coming back to the Planning Board with a proposal for a 30,000 sq. ft. foundation, then building one 10,000 sq. ft. building at a time. Hey, after all, that sounds good, right. They believe they can build the smaller addition as a matter of right. So we should be able to do this, right, right, right? Here’s a case where three rights make a wrong. The Knife brain trust must be studying the O’Donnell 40-B tactics of building only 200 homes up at the gravel pit; 200 now, 200 tomorrow and another 200 the next day. 200 times three = mayhem.

$500,000 SIGN: It’s there folks. So it is erected, so it must be so. The Ringside Observers think we can get a quicker answer on how much the sign at Pottle Street cost, then where’d the half mill come from that put it there. How’d you like to be the one who explains all this to the visiting team?

KNIFE NICKS: We have a trio of interesting tidbits relative to the L. Knife & Son situation. On November 15, neighborhood residents picketed the entrance to the beer palace. They did so after learning that it happened to be the occasion of an annual inspection by the Super Beer Boys out of St. Louis. The neighbors posted signs on some telephone poles and, within minutes, Building Inspector Paul Armstrong was called by Knife Management. Now keep this in mind, it was a one day inspection; Paul told the neighbors to have the signs down by day’s end. You gotta love it

Next point: There is an all day Environmental Seminar to be held on May 8 at Bridgewater State College. Who do think is the corporate sponsor? You guessed it, our old good neighbor Sam, L. Knife & Son. That should cause a few chuckles in academia, especially if our feisty little neighborhood watchdogs take a field trip and hoist before and after placards and pass out news clips.

Third point: On October 23, 2003, when the Bud Bullies were trying to woo the neighborhood with propaganda, General Manager Tim Sheehan wrote a letter to all the residents in the plant’s vicinity. One sentence read: "We plan to maintain and enhance existing landscaping to minimize the visible impact of the facility." Wow, maintain and enhance. Apparently money doesn’t beget brains. Timmy has signed his name to a lie. In our book that makes Tim Sheehan a liar. Usually corporate bigwigs veer around sentences like that so that it can’t get pulled out after the fact to come back and bite you.

A closing thought: The residents of Spring, Bradford and Elder Avenue should be commended for their battle. It is a neighborhood of decent, hard working people fighting to maintain the last vestiges of their property values and peace of mind. They are good human beings that are trying to learn, on the job, the frustration of doing battle with a corporate giant, and a handful of public officials that would sell out the town, just to walk in their shadow. The neighborhood has won battles based on wile, wit, sincerity, research, and by hanging tough, together. With a frugal budget they have held off the financial war chest of the malcontents of malt. And, who would ever have anticipated this latest act of utter stupidity. What Knife has done is expanded the issue beyond the three effected roads and into the consciousness of a disgusted community at large. The one prediction we can surely make, Knife will be back. You can’t shame people like this.